I was thinking the other day…when it comes to relationships, what makes a “good” husband, father, wife, mother, sister, or brother? I suspect we all want to be what’s considered “good”, so I decided to do a little research and spend a few Relational Tuesdays talking about what I believe makes a “good…fill in the blank.” Over the next few Relational Tuesday posts, minus a couple weeks I’m taking off for Christmas, I’m going to cover different types of relationships and, based on my research and beliefs, what makes you what most consider “good” in that relationship. I’ll call it the “What Makes A Good…” series.
Being a husband, I figured I’d start there. What makes someone a “good” husband? Being a husband of over 24 years, I have some experience here. I don’t think I’m the perfect husband, but I try to be the best I can. Based on my experience, books I’ve read about relationships, and doing some Google searches on the qualities of a good husband, I narrowed it down to what I believe are the top 5 qualities of a good husband. Let’s get started…
A good husband is patient. All relationships require patience. We have to be patient to be successful in any marriage, not just during the “Honeymoon Phase.” Patience is about waiting. Specifically, it’s your ability to wait to get what you want. A good husband has to be patient when it takes her longer to get ready. He has to be patient when she’s upset about something and he can’t seem to “fix the problem.” He has to be patient when she wants one thing, and he wants the other. Patience is about staying calm and simply waiting when what he wants isn’t happening.
A good husband supports his wife. Support her when she’s upset. Support her when she wants to try something new. Support her when she wants to make a big change. A good husband is there to lift his wife up, in the good times and the bad. He doesn’t run when the going gets tough. He makes the sacrifices necessary for his wife to be successful. He makes sure she has everything she needs to accomplish what she wants. This means having shoulders to cry on, shoulders to stand on, and shoulder to rely on. How strong are your shoulders?
A good husband holds his wife with the utmost respect. He respects her for the woman she is and all the good things she does. He won’t let anyone talk bad about her and will defend her honor as if it was his own. He respects the sacrifices she makes in the relationship and with the family. He also respects a woman enough to take care of himself, both in health and appearance. He wants to be around a long time for her and make her proud.
A good husband gives completely of himself. He works hard to provide for his wife. He lifts her wants above his own. He watches the romantic or family movie when he’d rather watch the action one. He goes to the crafts barn when he’d rather go to the electronics shop. He goes grocery shopping with his wife when he’d rather watch the game. It’s all about putting her needs first. You may think that’s a little too selfless and you won’t get anything in return. Trust me, when you do those things for her, she will do those things for you.
I understand religion can be tough for some people, but I believe faith, religion, and a core set of beliefs is required for a man to be a good husband. A God-fearing man tries to live his life according to God’s Word. This is a husband who has a core set of principles and guidelines, like The 10 Commandments, to help him be the best person he can be. If he is God-fearing, he will embody many other great qualities of a good husband. He will be faithful, trustworthy, kind, loving, and committed. Even if he doesn’t believe in God, he will have a set of principles that guides him to live the best life he can for his wife.
If you do a search on Google, you’ll find lots of hits on the qualities of a good husband. I’m not a perfect husband, nor am I a therapist who’s studied this for years, but I am is a husband who tries to put the needs of his wife first and strives each day to be the best man I can be in our relationship. You’ll find that there are tons of qualities to being a good husband, but if you narrow them down, and commit to these top 5 qualities, I believe you’ll automatically be all the other great things too. Strive each day to be these things for your wife. If you do, a long, loving relationship is in your future.