Crazy question, right? I’m not asking, “Are you hard to look at?” or “Do you have a hard time finding a soul mate?” I’m simply asking, do you make it hard for people to love you? In other words, do you do things that make it hard for people to get close to you or to love you? Perhaps you don’t and this post is not for you. But if I have piqued your interest and you want to learn more, keep reading and ask yourself…
Do I Do Things That Make Me Hard To Love?
Ask yourself if you do things that people have to put up with but still love you? For example, do you get mad very easily? Do you find yourself more mad and frustrated throughout the day than happy? Has anyone ever told you that they have to “walk on eggshells” around you? Are you constantly negative? Are you selfish? Do you generally put people down, rather than lift them up? Do you generally paint negative outcomes, rather than positive ones? Are you more of a taker than a giver? If the answer to any of these questions is an obvious “yes,” then you may have some things to work on. Don’t use that age-old excuse that most people like this tend to use…
“That’s Just The Way I Am”
I’ve heard this quite a few times from people who are hard to love. “This is the way I am. Take me or leave me.” When people say this, what they’re really saying is, “I’m too lazy to work on myself, so deal with it.” I think this is a very poor approach. This implies they’re a victim of their own attitudes and beliefs and that they have no power in their situation. They believe this is the way they were made so everyone has to deal with them the way they are. But this isn’t true…
You Can Change
You have a choice and you can change. No one has to deal with the hand they think they’ve been dealt. You don’t have to concede with the lazy thought that you’re a certain way and can’t change. I’ve seen alcoholics turn their lives around, addicts overcome their additions, and some of the meanest people I know become very lovable. The difference is they figured out that they don’t have to let things happen to them. They need to control what happens by controlling themselves. Like any change, it takes work. But that work can be broken down into three simple steps:
1. Identify the change you need to make.
2. Identify the things you need to do daily to make that change.
3. Discipline yourself to work on that change every day.
I’ve come across too many people who unknowingly make themselves “hard to love.” They don’t see a problem and use the excuse of, “That’s just the way I am.” What they aren’t seeing is the people in their lives they’re hurting and the relationships they’re ruining. But I challenge you. Take an honest look at yourself and ask, “Do I do anything that makes it hard to love me?” If your answer to this question is a “yes,” then I suggest you start making some changes, starting with the three steps to fix it. The people in your life deserve better. Don’t be lazy, take the steps!!!