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I Should Do What???

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There are a number of things out there that you may hear you should or shouldn’t do in a relationship if you want it to be successful.  The question is…are these habits really good for you or bad for you?  Here are a few healthy relationship habits that may seem bad on the surface, but ARE actually rally good for your relationship.  See if you have tried to avoid these and how avoiding them could hurt more than help…

Accept That You Can’t Solve Everything

You will inevitably have conflicts that you can’t resolve.  And guess what?  That is okay.  You can’t solve everything.  This is where compromise comes in.  No, your partner may not do everything you want them to do the way you want them to do it.  But that is not necessarily a bad thing.  Sometimes you have to accept people the way they are and compromise a bit.  Just because they don’t see it your way doesn’t mean they are wrong.  Let some things go and accept them as they are.  Pick your battles wisely and your relationship will prosper.

Telling The Truth, Even Though It Hurts

Sometimes you just have to be brutally honest.  Well, maybe not brutally, but you need to be honest.  Here is a classic one…. Has your significant other ever asked you how they look in a certain outfit before you go out?  They come downstairs five minutes before it is time to go and ask you what you think.  For some reason, the outfit doesn’t work, but you have to leave in five minutes.  Do you tell them?  Do you delay leaving?  Do you risk hurting their feelings?  The answer is that you should be honest.  Let them know how beautiful they are to you, but that outfit doesn’t do them justice.  They may not like your answer, and it may hurt their feelings, but it is honest and out of love.  You don’t just want to make them feel good if you don’t believe what you are saying.  Be honest and loving.

Spend Some Time Apart

Okay,  you are married now, and in a relationship, so you should spend every waking moment together.  Uh…NO.  This is not true.  It is healthy to have time apart and friendships outside of your marriage.  I am talking about friendships and hobbies that allow you to not have to be connected to your spouse’s hip 24/7.  Time apart is healthy, and some times necessary.  There are times where it is better to walk away for a bit and take a break.  It is also a great idea to not center your entire life around one person or thing.  If you rely solely on one person or thing for happiness and it is taken away, that is disastrous.  Find healthy ways to spend time apart.  This will help you find happiness and appreciate the times you have together even more.

The Takeaway

Everyone is willing to give you relationship advice.  They may hear a quote somewhere and just repeat it to you when it feels appropriate.  It doesn’t mean it is right for you and your situation.  You need to decide what is right for you and what isn’t.  The three items in this post may seem unhealthy, and contrary to some advice you will be given, but they are actually quite healthy and needed if you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship.  Review these  habits and and determine how they can work for you.  Though these may seem counter-productive, they are actually healthy and can make a huge difference in your life.

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