I was watching a video the other day that was talking about The Gray Rock Method. Since I had never heard of this before, of course it peaked my interest, so I watched the short video. The concept is pretty simple really. All you have to do is ignore anyone who is being negative towards you. You simply become a rock and give them nothing back. Eventually, they will get bored with you and move on. Pretty simple technique, but why does it work???
Why It Works…
This approach works because negative people love drama. They love to get a rise out of people and get something started. I don’t know why they enjoy this so much, but they do. But you have some power here. If you can ignore what they are saying, they will get bored with you. Eventually, every encounter with you results in boredom, rather than drama, so their mind is re-trained to see you as boring and therefore not interesting to them anymore. Pretty simple huh? So, if it is simple, why isn’t it easy to ignore these people?
Why It’s Not Easy
It’s not easy to ignore these people because your ego is fragile. Your ego says, “They can’t say that to us. Let’s get them.” Most people will respond back with drama and so the cycle begins. The negative person loves the drama and gives more back. Instead of shutting this down, you just added more gas to the fire. Your ego doesn’t want to be attacked and will give you this burning desire to say something back and to retaliate. You could even get to the point where it makes you tremble with anger. The ego is very powerful, but so are you. And when you can overcome your ego, happiness can be found. Here is an example from my soccer game last week and my battle with my ego…
A Broken Finger Allowed Me To Find Some Happiness
We were playing a tough team the other night in indoor soccer. My sons plan on the team with me. The other team had one player that was just a great dribbler and scorer. The bad thing was that he knew it. I am the goalkeeper and this guy was coming down on us to score, and dribbling quite elusively I might add. In the midst of stopping him, my son and I both went down to stop the play. We did stop the play, but the guy kinda chuckled and said something smart because my son and I were both on the ground to stop him. But then my son gets up and yells his finger is broken. And it was. It was pointed in some odd direction and was obviously messed up. My wife was there and some good friends, so they took him to the emergency room while I stayed and finished the game.
I felt my ego wanting to say something to the guy. He apologized if he had accidentally stepped on my son’s finger. I told him that he hadn’t and to not worry about it as these things happen in sports. My ego wanted to say, “Don’t worry about it, but you can watch the smart mouth while we’re playing.” But I didn’t say that. I held it back. After the game, the guy came up to me again, shook my hand, and apologized again. I think he felt a bit guilty about being rude to us when it happened. I assured him not to worry about it and that my son would be fine. We won the game, 6-4, and I felt a bit happy. I was able to beat my ego, save an argument, and then take a bit of pain away from the guy who was feeling guilty about what happened.
It can be tough to not want to defend yourself or argue back when someone brings drama into your life. It is difficult to push your ego down and do the right thing. But being able to beat your ego is an essential thing in your quest for true happiness. We can’t be happy if we are constantly arguing and letting our egos cause more trouble for us than we need. Beating your ego and ignoring negativity are two key things you need to do if you truly want to find happiness. It can happen in the small moments where you hold your tongue, like I experienced during my soccer game. I found a bit of happiness in helping the rude guy feel a bit less guilty about his antics. Besides, we won the game and my son’s finger is on it’s way to healing. Try to always take the high road…the one less traveled…and watch joy fill your life.