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Another Party? Do I Have To Go?


Your spouse or friend wants to drag you to another party.  You think, “Great…another opportunity to feel like the odd man out.”  So, you go to this party or function and you just can’t seem to fit in with the people who are there.  The event seems painful and you can’t wait to leave.  You may hope that someone wants to start a conversation with you, but, without knowing it, you are giving off that vibe where you may not seem approachable.  When that happens, here are three ways to get a conversation started…

Ask, “What do you think?”

People love to talk, so give them a reason to talk.  Find something in the room, or something that you may have in common and simply make a comment about it, giving your opinion, and then say, “What do you think?”  For example, let’s say you are at a party and you really enjoy the music that is playing.  You could go up to someone and say, “I am a big fan of rock and roll music.  It helps get a party going.  What do you think?”  This easily opens up the conversation.  Even if they don’t agree with you, they are more likely to somewhat agree with you but then add their own favorite genre of music.  Maybe they are not rock and roll fans, but they will most likely give you some type of agreement and then go into their own thoughts.

Ask For A Small Favor

People feel obligated to be polite when they are asked a small favor.  You could ask them what the current time is, to keep an eye on your drink, or to help you play a small trick on a friend.  When people do you a small favor, they will tend to like you.  This is because of a psychological principle known as cognitive dissonance.  This is because we want our thoughts to match our actions.  If we do someone a favor, we must like the person.

Give Them A Compliment

For this conversation starter, find something you like about the person and give them a compliment.  It could be the dress or shirt they are wearing, or their hair style.  The point is to try and find something you can compliment them on and open with that.  Make sure you don’t give them an empty compliment.  Be sure it is something that you truly like.  Giving a fake compliment will come across as manipulative and you will be marked as that weird guy or gal to stay away from.  Be genuine and watch the conversation flow.

The Takeaway

You don’t have to be that bump on a log at parties or feel uncomfortable.  Use one of these conversation starters to get yourself involved.  You may be thinking that this is not your thing, and you are okay with being the odd man out.  DON’T.  Get out of your comfort zone and jump into the mix.  We don’t grow staying in our comfort zone.  If you are not a party or event type of person, do you want to go the rest of your life struggling through them?  Nope.  Simply use some of these conversation starters and possible make some new friends.  These are simple to use and can make a big difference in your social life.  Before you know it, you will be asking when the next party is!!!

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