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Be Consistent


Being consistent in your relationships is important if you want the people you care about to understand you.  If you are consistent in the things you do and how you do them, people close to you will never really have to question what or why you are doing something.

This post will cover three ways to be consistent that can help all of your relationships.

1.  Don’t Flip/Flop

Simply put…if you say something, stick with it.  If you say no, don’t let pressure change your mind.  For example, I have seen many parents, myself included, say no to a child, only to change their minds to say yes after the child persistently pushes for what they want.  This teaches the child that they can get what they want if they just keep pushing.  If you do this once, you will do it twice.  And once you do it twice, the third time is right around the corner.  Now a pattern has established and the kid knows how to get what they want.  If you say “no”, stick to it.  If the child continues to persist, then nip it right away and give them a firm “no.”

This holds true for adults in your life as well.  If you say no to something, don’t flip/flop.  If you tell someone no because you know something is a bad idea, don’t easily change your mind because that person persists, or you are upset.  Know that saying “no” to something or someone is the right answer and stick with it.  This will show everyone around you that when you say no you stick with it.  And you stick with it because it is consistent with your morals.   More on morals later.

2.  Always Tell The Truth

If you always tell the truth, you immediately eliminate the amount of things you will have to remember.  For example, when you lie, you have to remember who you lied to and exactly what you said.  And if multiple people are involved, you either have to keep the lie consistent across all people, or hope someone else who is in on the lie can keep the lie consistent too.  This is a road you DO NOT want to go down.  If you always tell the truth, there is no need to remember anything besides what happened, instead of something you made up.  Being consistent with always telling the truth will tell your family, friends, and co-workers that you are someone to be trusted and never doubted.

But what about these little white lies???  I know, these can be tough.  Personally, I prefer to avoid them, but there are times where you can’t just skirt around them and may have to use them.  For example, to make someone feel good about themselves.  I believe that if you can help someone feel good about themselves by telling a little white lie, then it is okay because you are doing it for that person’s good.  Just be careful not to confuse a white lie with something that can spin out of control.  

3.  Stick With Your Faith and Morals

We all have certain morals, values, or virtues we live by.  These are inherent beliefs we have built up over time that say what is right and what is wrong.  We learn these from our experiences and the people we associate with.  These inherent beliefs help us to make our choices and give us a guiding light on how to live our lives.  I mention faith here because we all need to have faith in something.  And what we have faith in can help us establish our morals.

Personally, I am Catholic and believe in God.  God is different things to different people.  I am not saying you have to believe what I believe, but you do need to have faith in something positive and and use that great thing, like God, to help you establish the morals you want to live by.  When you live by good morals, and are consistent with them, you will consistently do good and people will know that.  There will be no question where you stand on things and how you will respond when certain situations come up.  You are consistent with your morals, and people will expect and respect that.


Being consistent is an important factor in how we live our lives.  It helps people to know what to expect of us and where we draw the line.  It helps people understand what we do and why we do it.  Being consistent will help you to stay strong when faced with tough situations.  People will know they can rely on you for support when life’s situations come up.  They will know where you stand and what you can and will do to support your beliefs and morals. 

Being consistent is one of the easiest and hardest things you can do to build solid relationships.  It is one of the things that is easy to do and hard to do at the same time, but with consistency, it becomes easier.

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