Who wants to be free? I know I sure do. No I am not talking about literal chains, or being at the mercy of someone who is holding me back. I am talking about how we hold ourselves back from being happy and how to truly be free. We are responsible for our own joy and happiness. It is up to us to make our lives what we want it to be, instead of letting others dictate how happy we are. One of the best ways to to truly be free is to let go of expectations.
Let Go Of Expectations
Most people go through life with expectations. Hell, it is only natural. We all expect certain things. We expect the sun to come out tomorrow. We expect to wake up happy and healthy. We expect our significant other “not to upset us.” We expect our kids to do as we say. As I guess you can imagine, all of these situations are not under our control, but our expectations are. So why is this a bad thing???
Why This Is A Bad Thing!!!
Typically, we expect certain things to happen. When things don’t go as we expect, we react or respond in a way that we feel is appropriate, given our current state of mind. For some, the slightest deviation from expectation could result in an all out war, or at least a pretty bad day. We all would love for things to go smoothly, but when they don’t, we tend to not react the best way. True, some people are in more control than others, but many end up very unhappy. This is really all in our minds. So what can we do???
Accept Life As It Is
We can learn to accept life as it comes to us. We can try to avoid having any expectations. Whatever happens in life is what was meant to happen, so instead of expecting certain things, lean into the things that happen. See them as this is the way it was meant to go, so go with it. We can have a million expectations, but life is going to go as it goes. Sure we have some control, but we don’t have control over many more things. We only have control over how we think about things. And if we can learn to accept life as it is, we will generally live a happier life. You may be thinking, “that is easier said than done.”
Yes, Easier Said Than Done!!!
Focusing and improving yourself is always going to be easier said than done. This post is no exception. How can we concede to accept life as it is? We can do this by understanding that we can’t control everything. Even the things we work the hardest on may not give us the results we were hoping for. Many inventors had great ideas, worked hard, only to fall short of their expectations. Many parents expect their kids to do good things, but sometimes they do bad things. No, you don’t have to be pleased by the outcome, but you can lean into the outcome and go with it..not being angry or mad, but accepting what is happening and working towards a change.
One true way to be free is to try and let go of expectations. It is fine to plan things, and work towards different outcomes, but we can’t be upset or mad when the outcomes are not what we wanted. We have to do our best, be content with our efforts, and understand that results are not really under our control. So, instead of getting angry, mad, or disappointed when things fail to meet our expectations, don’t have expectations. Sure, set goals, and aim towards those, but don’t get mad or upset if you don’t reach them. Stay calm, be happy with what you have learned along the way, and go at it again. When you can accept life as it is, with no expectations, you are truly free.
I will leave you with these words from Marcus Aurelius,
“Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?”