Don’t be “that guy.” You know the guy I am talking about. The guy who wants to talk about himself, what he has, how much he makes, or just how great he is. Everyone secretly hates that guy, but we tolerate him because we try to look past it. It is great that people will try to look past it, but don’t rely on that. Don’t wish for people to look past your negative qualities to find the good. If you want to improve your relationships, always be humble. Avoid bragging at all cost. Why do we brag anyways???
Why We Brag
We tend to brag because we want to look important. We want to look like we have our crap together. Look at any social media feed and just watch how many people are bragging. It’s a BIG SHOW, and one that I don’t want a the ticket to. Often times people will brag due to their own insecurities. They may feel a bit inadequate, but if they can present a confident person, then others will believe. When others believe, they feel like they can believe in themselves too.
We can’t talk about why we brag without bringing up the ever powerful EGO. The ego wants everyone to know how great we are. It wants to tell the world that they wish they were us. “Look at me and how amazing I am.” This bragging feeds the ego even more, which in turn brags even more. It’s a vicious cycle and one that will push people away quicker than giving away free money will bring them in.
Many people want to be put upon a pedestal. And when no one else will put them there, they put themselves there. When people put themselves on a pedestal, a really big problem happens. The inevitable fall.
When we put ourselves up on a pedestal, it is inevitable that we will fail eventually. Nothing goes right for us all the time. Life will knock us down some times. It will come right along and knock you off your self-appointed pedestal before you realize it. When life knocks us off of the pedestal we put ourselves on, there may not be anyone there to help us back up. Even worse, if we are always bragging about ourselves, people will secretly root for us to fail. Just to humble you a bit. They want to see you fall because they are tired of your relentless bragging and ego. Who wants to help the guy who brags all the time? Not many.
How To Survive The Fall
The best way to survive the fall is to not put yourself up on a pedestal to begin with. Can we really take credit for everything good that happens to us? I don’t think we can. I believe success in our lives is based upon doing the right things and then everything else falling into the right place at the right time. It may be that we are successful at something solely because of our own individual efforts, but most of the time, it takes more than that. A lot of other factors have to work out just right. Even though we may not see the other things that happened, doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. People who brag tend to think, “Me, me, me.” They fail to look at the big picture. All we can do is our best and understand that results are not always under our control.
If you are humble about the things in your life, other people will tend to put you on a pedestal, even if you didn’t ask to be placed there. They will lift you up because of the good you are doing and not bragging about it. If you respect your own success, people will respect it too. When this happens, stay humble. Think of yourself as unworthy of the pedestal. Be humble and thankful for the things that have worked out for you. This way, when life comes along and knocks you down, you will survive the fall, because people will catch you and lift you back up. People will help those they respect. And people respect successful people who are humble. If you want to survive the fall, be humble and build a safety net of people who respect you.
I understand that it can be tough to avoid bragging, especially when something great has just happened for you. You want to tell the world, but not at the expense of being “that guy.” You don’t want to be the guy who is constantly talking about himself and his accomplishments. Be humble. When in conversations, be the last to speak. Let’s others tell you about themselves. When asked how you are doing, you can share some good luck or success you are experiencing, but avoid the temptation to brag. Be thankful for how fortunate you have been, attributing success to hard work and things going your way. Don’t take full credit for everything good that happens. Give thanks to God, your higher power, or the universe. Whatever you believe, but don’t take it all for yourself, and limit how much you talk about it. Don’t try to brag to make people like you more. Just be humble, and people will flock to you with a level of respect no amount of bragging could ever earn you. As Dale Carnegie said,
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”