You are probably thinking, “Duh…of course I show my kids I love them.” I am sure everyone loves their kids and do their best to show them they love them, but are you really showing them? Think for a second…the last time you were with your kid, how did you show them? Was it by saying have a nice day at school, while you were washing the dishes? Was it by telling them to clean their room while you were watching Netflix? Or was it when you told them they were going to be late for work, barely lifting your head from your phone? I guess all of these can be said with love, but was it received with love? If you are unsure they felt your love, how bout trying these three ways to show your love?
Hugs & Kisses
I know this sounds kinda childish, and you may feel your son or daughter is too old for it, but trust me and try it out. A simple kiss on the forehead or cheek can make a difference. How about a nice hug? One where you squeeze a little extra to show them how much you care? This physical attention can build into a positive connection over time. I know as kids get older, they tend to shy away from the physical attention. And maybe you don’t want to show this affection in front of their friends and “embarrass” them. But when you are at home, share this affection with them and bring that child-like bond back to life.
If you are not the touchy/feely type, you can always give your child your undivided attention. I use to be guilty of not doing this. When I was working and my sons came in my office, I would keep my head buried in my computer and utter answers towards questions they asked. But then I learned how important it is to give them my attention. They will be moving on with their lives as adults soon, so these days of having them home are fleeting. There will always be more work to do, but they will not always be barging into my office. So I make it a point to give them my undivided attention as often as I can.
I also give my sons my undivided attention, around the house whenever they want to talk to me. I do my best to not be on my phone, or submersed into TV when they want to talk. I like to stop what I am doing, lean in, and be anxious to hear what they have to say. They love this attention and it makes them feel important, which they are. Give them your focused attention and watch how the respect you show comes back to you.
This is extremely important. They say you can tell when your son becomes a man when he shakes your hand and looks you in the eyes. Or when you see your daughter maturing as she makes solid eye contact with you when showing affection or talking about serious topics. Giving people eye contact shows confidence and maturity. And how are we going to teach them this? That’s right, by showing them. When they speak to you, look them in the eye and speak with them. If you are talking to them and they are not looking at you, ask them to look you in the eye and talk to you. Doing this will form a habit and help you raise confident children into adulthood.
Kids need to be shown love, especially in this day and age, when distractions are everywhere. Too often, adults and children have their heads buried in their phones, more interested in the cyber world than the one right in front of them. The worse is to see a family out to dinner , but no one is talking the whole time. Their heads are buried in their phones. This teaches our kids bad habits and does not show them how much we love them. Don’t be the family that loses touch with your kids due to technology. Don’t be too consumed to give your kids your undivided attention. Take the time to give them a heartfelt hug and kiss. Let them feel your love. Pretty soon they will be moving out on their own. While you have them, teach them love and how to show it by example. Show your kids you love them with hugs/kisses, focused attention, and eye contact. You can affect generations of your family to come by simply showing your kids some love.